Wednesday, March 13, 2013

What time are we upon, and where do I belong?

Today in Jazz band, the teacher asked us what we are passionate about. He told us about his love for music, and started to call on students.
The only thing I could think was that I am a 14 year old girl who has spent 10 years learning what I was 'required' to learn, and I will spend another 4 years at least doing so. There are almost 200 countries in the world, filled with over 7,000,000,000 people. There are billions of us now, billions of us already dead, and billions of us that will be here when we're long gone. Time isn't straight, and everything that has ever happened is still happening, over and over, and there is so much pain. But there is so much love. We are born, and learn to care for even the smallest of animals. We get older, and we love our parents, our siblings, our grandparents, our friends. We get older, and we begin to understand that there is a special kind of love that is reserved for someone we may or may not meet. And we get older still, growing wrinkles and crinkles in the corners of our eyes. People are so small, but we all know each other, live next to each other, love each other.
And there I was in that small, small classroom feeling so small and so big at the same time. Sitting in a school,   where they tell me that I have to learn the things they tell me to, otherwise I will be unsuccessful. But from what I've been thinking and feeling, I can't judge my success on my knowledge. I want to have wisdom. Not what people think wisdom is, but the wisdom that comes from life. I want to be able to go places and feel the energy of everything and everyone happening all at once and know that life is beautiful and ridiculous, and that there are good things and bad things, but the bad things don't always spoil the good ones.

2 comments:

  1. I Totally understand! I'm almost 18 and I still feel the same, almost desperate to find the one thing that I love and can make my life centred around creating etc. But I have found that as long as you surround yourself with positive things and people things will be a little easier. :) x

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    1. Thanks! It means a lot to me that someone understands. Whenever I to try to explain it to someone, they look at me like, "........what?"

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